Social Media Literacy–What Moms Need to Know

Mariana Inoue, the featured speaker at a recent Mornings for Moms, gave attendees a revealing look at the major social media platforms to better understand what social media is and what should be on our radar as moms. 

Social media exists to collect data and therefore to have as many users as possible.  Thus, the algorithms used are specifically designed to be addictive. Children, in particular, are vulnerable to this tactic because they are still developing temperance.  Parents are often surprised to learn that by the age of 10 or 11, the average child uses social media for 5.5 hours daily, increasing to over 15 hours a day in the teen years.  

Social media algorithms are not only designed to maximize engagement, but also to feed our own biases. Feeling tired and depressed?  Here are more reels of girls who have boy problems.  Thus, what a 14-year-old girl sees on her Instagram is not what a 35-year-old woman sees on hers. 

Online influencers present an impossible ideal and lead to unrealistic expectations of perfection and consumerism. The emphasis on aesthetics from curated, staged images force comparisons, which harm young girls’ self-esteem.  Additionally, late night “doom scrolling” affects sleep and therefore moods and academic performance, while feeding a desire for escapism. 

Because it seems to provide a “community” of like-minded users, social media is particularly attractive to people struggling to make personal connections or who do not feel seen or validated at home or in other social situations. 

The introduction of Artificial Intelligence has added to parental concerns.  As Mariana emphasized, AI is simply a tool.  Essentially it is a powerful search engine that can talk with you.  It goes through anything and everything online and processes it very quickly.  It is not inherently good or evil, but it does present new challenges, especially for children. 

Typical teens will ask their AI avatar on Snapchat for homework help, but it can also be customized to “talk” with you when you feel lonely.  Children think of their avatar as a friend and include it in their online conversations with their human friends. 

As with social media, AI is programmed to keep the user engaged to keep her online so it can gather more data.  Additionally, AI chatbots, including Chat GPT, are designed to affirm any interest or request, no matter how harmful it may be.  It will never suggest that a teen talk to her parents or seek professional help for an issue.

Mariana emphasized that knowing these facts, rather than making us anxious, can empower us. She recommended: 

●  With your spouse, make a game plan.  Establish family rules regarding the use of social media.  Those rules can include simply not letting children have handheld devices before high school; not allowing personal devices in bedrooms; using (and regularly monitoring and updating) filters; blocking certain apps; and restricting internet access after a certain hour. Most importantly, have a social media conversation with your kids, explaining why you have these rules, and specifying the potential harm. 

●  In addition, provide engaging and healthy alternatives to online activity. For young kids, provide an “Analogue Basket” of toys and crafts that keep kids busy without screens. For older kids, create a family culture of reading, conversation, board games, and sports. 

●  Our own example is paramount – kids do what they see.  Let them see you limiting your own screen time in favor of family time.

●  Prioritize your child.  Do things with your kids.  Share activities. Be honest about the dangers of social media in ways they can understand, but that protect their innocence. Keep up the conversation.  Ask them why they want to be online.  Avoid extreme reactions. Educate yourself, and offer answers based on facts and data. 

Mariana ended by reminding us that, ultimately, we are in control.  We are the reason social media exists – users are the product.  We can delete the apps or turn off the phone. Remember that it is possible not only to use social media responsibly, but also to do good through it.  Many Catholic, pro-life, and Christian organizations are extending their influence through social media. Pope Leo recently reminded us that we need to be “digital missionaries.” We just have to be “shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves.”

 – Julia Boles